Dear Cancer,
MY DEAREST CANCER
Without a thought you took me
Left me darkness and despair
You took all the fundamentals
I even lost my hair
You split my soul wide open
Feels like nothings left inside
You locked me in my casket
I have not even died
You stole the love around me
You filled me with regret
And every time I fight you
I think, “Is this over yet?”
The pain goes past the physical
With it there are no scars
Sometimes I am so lonely
I feel displaced on Mars
I search for hope in every place
Is easy to forget
That even the great catchers
Need the perfect mitt
You given much resistance
To finish lifetime goals
Have clouded my good judgment
Have filled my roles with holes
The emotions are so daunting
On this roller coaster ride
And climbing steeper mountains
Leaves me no place left to hide
Why make my heart so callous
Take my place to grip
Then drown me in the ocean
Have not built my ship
Please take no more from me
Without something to replace
Let light and love surround me
Touch me with God’s grace
Jonnie – Fall 2009
When I wrote this, it had just begun and now I look back and think My Dearest Cancer letter must have been lost in the mail. However, I am grateful to be alive.
January 22nd, 2012 at 9:53 pm
Dear Joanie,
Thank you for writing this. You have captured my feelings, fears and emotions so perfectly. In April 2011, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Ovarian Cancer. I just received my first 3 month clean diagnosis. Yet, I am still afraid, still can’t get the ugly thoughts out of my head, afraid to get to happy or make too many plans because “what if”… I pray you are well. Thank you again for touching my heart.