I now know more and that is supposed to make me feel better. But… it doesn’t. In fact, I think I feel worse now that I know more

Well, all I really wanted to say is I’m determined that we won’t have any more anniversaries. I want a “divorce” from cancer.

You are a creep lurking in the dark. You always seem to attack without warning, it is an unfair game. You are malicious with your intent. I loathe your strength and your ability to draw tears at the mention of your name. I abhor you to the nth degree. I wish you nothing but harm, radiation, and remission. I want you to crawl back into whatever space you came from and die there — slowly and painfully.

What you don’t know is that although you often have the upper hand, you can be beat. You can be forced into remission and you will someday be able to be eradicated by a cure. Your days are numbered.

I am not sure how you sleep at night, but I hope you often feel the heat of my wrath as you drift off. I hope you have nightmares about me burning you alive and discarding your remains. I hope you toss and turn all night with that ominous feeling that you are no longer safe — not even in your dreams.

I wish you all the pain in the world and an ocean full of tears,

A.Tobias

You are slowly stealing my father
and though some say this is God’s will,
those words will never stop me
from despising you, still.

Yes I hate you, cancer
like I’ve hated nothing before,
I’ve cried so much, my eyes are dry
for tears…there are no more.

If only I could fight you,
my anger alone could win the bout,
I would crush you down to ashes
until “surrender!” you would shout.

And if you were a mighty tree,
I would destroy you limb by limb
until you swore to put an end to
all the pain you’re causing him.

What gives you the right? What gives you the power?
Just who do you think you are?
You have no feelings or compassion
for all the many lives you scar.

If I were a scientist, I’d concentrate
on finding the key to your demise;
just like those cowards on 9-11,
you attack with a heartless surprise.

You personify evil,
you are wicked and cruel.
You thrive on others’ sorrow…
like cars run on fuel.

You are forever my enemy,
my nemeses, my foe,
but before you take my best friend,
there’s something you should know…

He hasn’t relinquished his dignity;
his inner strength shall persevere
and you’ll never have the satisfaction
of realizing his fear.

Because if you had a face,
he would look you straight in the eye
and he’d say to you what he’s said to me…
that he’s not afraid to die.

You may have chosen his last day
and though he may be near it,
your power has its limitations
because you’ll never break his spirit!

http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,21684,0.htm

Just when he started to feel a little better after all the radiation and chemotherapy, you decided to take him down once and for all. You robbed us of everything. We never got to say good bye to each other. Gene was on a ventilator most of his last two weeks on this earth. Also, he was sedated most of the time. When he did wake up, he was scared and angry. He never wanted anyone to see him like that. Finally, he could fight no longer because you took over full force. You invaded his lungs to the point where he could never improve. I had to give him permission to go with God. He was so worried about me and how I would fare without him. I told him that I would be okay and that I loved him. He went quietly.

You may have won that battle, cancer, but there are strides of hope out there to beat you out of existence!
Then we can all say “Good riddance!”

We’re here to help you finally get it all out.

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Thanks!
The DearCancer.org team